Right now, I live in a place that is not the quietest. It’s not the cleanest, friendliest, or the most affordable. Oftentimes, it feels like the opposite in each of those regards. Living in such a tumultuous, chaotic time, many of us may have difficulty noticing moments of joy, of happiness. Earlier this year, I decided to forge happy feelings. Put more accurately, I am making my best efforts to capture joy.
If I didn’t pay attention, I probably wouldn’t take note of pleasant moments, the fleeting acts of kindness and community. This morning, I raced down my block. My last mile recorded at 8 minutes and 38 seconds. As my typical mile is around 10 to 11 minutes, this speed is pretty fast for me. As I approached a guy on the sidewalk, I slowed down, then, he stepped to the edge. It wasn’t a grand gesture, but a kind one worth noting.
Stoping to walk as I finished my run, he said, “Race you to the end of the block.” And we both laughed.
I live in a neighborhood where most of my neighbors are friendly, respectable people. We say to “good morning” to each other. We return each other’s mail. We help our neighbors carry heavy packages.
I would not appreciate these small, but meaningful, acts of kindness if I failed to (literally) take note. We’re just not wired that way, to pay attention to what’s mildly pleasant. We’re wired to pay attention to what keeps us alive, and someone with higher anxiety is even more biased toward identifying potential threats versus joys.
I’m keeping notes to make sure I prioritize joy. The writing I keep in my notebook helps me notice and recreate joyful moments. It helps me cultivate them. My notes are like a lifeline. I like to keep them with me.
I have a tendency of writing too much and finishing too little, so I’m planning to make this into a tiny series: the way I use my notes to support my life. Let’s start with a page of my analog notes. First, let me tell you what inspired this little practice.
A few years back, I dealt with some chronic health problems. Along with that, I had to engage with several people whom made me feel so frustrated that being around them made me feel physically ill. Have you ever felt such unease when being around someone? What I’ve learned through those experiences is that I’m pretty good at reading through my problems. I took a strategy from a book by Set Sytes with Dr. Faith G. Harper that involved simple reasons to stay alive. At a lesser extreme, I call this my “Happy List.” I found a home for the list in a small binder.
I use a Plotter mini binder that doubles as a wallet. I carry it with me whenever feasible. As Set Sytes recommends, I keep a list of simple, attainable aspects of life that ignite feelings of happiness, of joy. These are not about legacy. They aren’t about aspirations or idealistic end points. They are about simple methods and activities that help me feel joy, like eating mashed potatoes.
Seriously, even looking at the list makes me feel gentle excitement. It gives me ideas of things to do that I don’t have to come up with whenerver I am in a (seemingly) joyless time. They’re just there, listed on the paper.
Here are some other items from my list with added context:
Driking Seltzer
Langston Hughes - Simple (reading work by him about this character)
Eating Cheese or Pizza (mostly vegan alternatives)
Sitting in Sunlight by Windows
Watching Sunrises and Sunsets
Chats with People I Love
Maintaing Rituals and Normalcy
Writing and Reflecting
I encourage you to write your own list (and continue to add to it over time—I need to add cinnamon rolls). What are some simple aspects of your life that bring you joy?
I think I will write more for this tiny blog series soon. Stay tuned for topics on daily notes, logging and tracking, and designing sustainable rituals and routines to support sleep health.
Notes
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